Appreciation, Balance, & Boundaries

The only way I can imagine beginning this post is with a huge heartfelt "Thank you!!" Thank you for your support, your prayers, the healing energy so many of you sent, and for your love. I have absolutely felt the strength of it - last Wednesday, each day before, and every day since.

The Angels stayed close to me. Surgery was successful and my lymph nodes are clear. Tomorrow I'll find out whether the surgical margins (the tissue around the tumor) are clean (free of cancer cells) - and a whole lot of other details, when I go to my post-operative appointment. I will be sure to post another note tomorrow night to let you all know how it goes.

Meanwhile, I have been relaxing (way more than usual!), recuperating, and spending lots of time in a state of appreciation for my many blessings.

One such blessing was having my sister here with me (who I jokingly refer to as my older sister - although she is two years younger than me - ha!). She was there at the hospital when I woke up from surgery and she stayed with me until Sunday morning - taking care of anything and everything I needed. I'm betting we never could have imagined THAT scenario as teenagers! Now, living four hours apart, we never seem to get enough time together. So when we do, I savor every moment of it! This time I got to be the center of attention - an added bonus to be sure! Hehehe ;). Love you Gina!!

I was also blessed with the company of a few close friends and family over the weekend...not to mention gifts of food, flowers, and a breathtakingly beautiful rose quartz healing crystal. I have been and remain stunned - in grateful utter amazement - at all of the support that surrounds me!

Which brings me to the title of my post - Appreciation, Balance, & Boundaries.

I've talked about my appreciation frequently in these posts. There is no way to overstate it. And, it does feel very, very good here on the receiving end...which makes me want to give that much more in the hopes I can generate this kind of "feel good" vibe for someone else. Giving and receiving pure love - that's the net-net of it all, isn't it?

Balance has been more of an ongoing lesson. A dance I have yet to master - and probably never will - because as soon as I think I have it down, the music will change and the steps will need to change with it. Cancer isn't just a new melody, but a whole new musical genre!

Since my diagnosis, I have found that I need to pay particular attention to balance in several key areas. The time that I spend with others versus time spent alone is a big one. I've always been a very social person - time with others feeds my energy levels. I've also enjoyed the time that I spend alone. My work is very solitary and rarely has that bothered me. Now, I've found that I need to redefine things a bit.

Too much time spent alone - unless I am completely engaged in something, or sleeping - can be more detrimental than enjoyable. By the same token, too much time with too many people, and too much social stimulation feels overwhelming right now. Having my sister and my daughter right here with me the last few days - that felt perfect.

There is balance in doing nothing versus creative pursuits or working. Balance in giving and receiving. Balance in discipline and relaxing our standards. Balance in rest and exercise.

The point is, I'm feeling my way through it. Just like we all have to do. And, it's well worth it because when I am in a state of balance, centered, in alignment with Who I Really Am, I am able to flow downstream with life - easily and effortlessly. If you haven't felt this way lately (or ever), I highly encourage you to devote some time to your personal dance as well. Like I said, it's worth it.

Which brings me to Boundaries...and the realization that it's tough to find balance without setting boundaries - with myself and with others. I'm learning to set boundaries for myself at the edge of doing "just enough" - a lesson sometimes learned at the expense of doing a little too much. I had just "discovered" and happily set new boundaries between my work life and personal life at the beginning of June when we moved to our new home and I set up my awesome new office. Now those boundaries are being tested once more and adjusted to fit my new circumstances.

More challenging still, I'm learning to speak up - lovingly - and set personal boundaries around the time I spend with others. Does it feel good and inspire me? Delight me and make me laugh? Or, is it too much? Does it leave me drained or feeling down? Am I spending my time doing what I believe is expected of me, out of a feeling of obligation - or what feels good to me, from a place of joy? Time is precious and finite. We get to choose how we spend each moment of it, but we can never rewind it.

Cancer is a life changing experience - no doubt about it - for better or worse. I intend that for me, it will be for the better. I also intend that for those of you who wish it, MY cancer can be YOUR life changing experience - so that you don't have to travel this same journey yourself.

Love yourself - first and foremost. Listen for the melody and find the dance steps that lead you to alignment. Stay there ;)...for as long as possible, as often as possible. Set some healthy boundaries - you'll know they're healthy if they feel good. And remember - life was meant to FEEL GOOD - just like love. Which brings us full circle again - doesn't it?

Love,
Me