Friday, April 19, 2013
Thursday, February 28, 2013
The Glorious "All Clear"!
As far as miracles go, I've experienced my share of them...There was the car accident in Florida that I never should have survived, much less walked away from (BIG credit to my Guardian Angels on that one!) as well as countless other slightly less dramatic, but no less potentially fatal events. Then, in 2011 my first bout with triple negative breast cancer was too big, too dramatic, and too potentially lethal to forget. The miracle of coming through it was one of the greatest blessings of my life.
But, when my breast cancer re-emerged last fall, it almost felt like my miracle had been taken away from me...little did I realize at the time, that an even greater miracle was in the works.
But, when my breast cancer re-emerged last fall, it almost felt like my miracle had been taken away from me...little did I realize at the time, that an even greater miracle was in the works.
First, despite my rather grim prognosis back in November of Stage IV metastatic triple negative breast cancer, I managed to come through a difficult thoracic surgery with ease. Then, testing revealed that the surgery was a complete success and that there is now NO EVIDENCE OF DISEASE in my body!
But my miracle didn't stop there!
This week's visit to Boston confirmed that I am healing beautifully with no complications AND (this is the BEST part!!) I'm doing SO well that no further treatment is necessary!! No radiation, no nasty chemo - just frequent check ups and scans! Very unexpected and welcome news!! Two years from Jan, 2013 will be my first big marker - and I plan to sail past it!!
But my miracle didn't stop there!
This week's visit to Boston confirmed that I am healing beautifully with no complications AND (this is the BEST part!!) I'm doing SO well that no further treatment is necessary!! No radiation, no nasty chemo - just frequent check ups and scans! Very unexpected and welcome news!! Two years from Jan, 2013 will be my first big marker - and I plan to sail past it!!
Can I hear a collective WHOO HOO?!!!!
When I left for Boston, I left with the intention that Dr. Sugarbaker would confirm my Inner Knowing that no chemo was necessary and that there was no evidence of disease. I fully expected that radiation was a given. Yet, when I made my intention, I threw in my customary - "this or something better" - because I know that we (as earth-bound humans) have a rather limited view of all the existing possibilities, whereas God can always come up with something heavenly to surprise us with ;). Well...I got my heavenly surprise!! Another miracle! I'm ready to move on!!!
So...now it's about continuing to heal, and remembering all the lessons I've learned (not that I'm done learning new ones!).
There's so much I want to share with the world!! I intend to share through my coaching, my writing (a couple of books are well under way, plus articles and blog posts of course!), my voice, acts of service, and most importantly - the example of my life. I intend to share what I share in a balanced way that does not compromise my self care, self love, self respect, or personal boundaries. And in fact, THAT is one of the most important lessons I want to share with others right now - without self love and the self care that stems from it - you have nothing.
I am ready to assist those who desire it, to go from feeling like life is happening TO them and AROUND them, to being confident in knowing that they are the deliberate co-creators, with the Divine, of their own reality. Just look at my intentions...IT CAN BE DONE!!! And I am confident that I can assist anyone else who chooses it, to get there with their own intentions.
God has given me the blessings of TIME, health, wisdom, grace and gratitude. I choose to show my appreciation by sharing those gifts with as many other people as I can...and God, I am open to receiving any other gifts and blessings you choose to send my way!
You'll see more progress now on updates to my websites, Facebook pages, LinkedIn, etc...as I slowly re-enter the professional world. I ask that you help me spread the word! Do you know someone who could benefit from my coaching? Is there a group that you think might benefit from hearing my message - as a speaker, or in a group coaching session? Are you looking for a unique take on a one-day in-service or retreat? Please let me know! My primary website is: www.IntentionalBliss.com.
Meanwhile, continue to keep me in your thoughts and prayers, particularly prayers of gratitude for my healing, but also for strength, wisdom, and courage as I forge a new path forward. I am not only continuing to heal physically and emotionally from all that I've been through, but financially as well. It's been a year and a half since I've had a steady income of any kind. And although I have health insurance, there were expenses not covered - or not covered in full, there are loans to repay, and a lot of general everyday catching up to do!
And please keep reading my blog! I intend to keep it going with lots of insights and updates...in fact, share it with others if you feel inspired to do so! Soon I hope to have a e-newsletter as well.
So many ideas, inspirations, and ambitions! Do you ever feel that way? Tough to keep it in check sometimes, isn't it? But I intend to do so ;). Until next time...THANK YOU for all your love and support!
Bliss & Blessings!
Lisa
And please keep reading my blog! I intend to keep it going with lots of insights and updates...in fact, share it with others if you feel inspired to do so! Soon I hope to have a e-newsletter as well.
So many ideas, inspirations, and ambitions! Do you ever feel that way? Tough to keep it in check sometimes, isn't it? But I intend to do so ;). Until next time...THANK YOU for all your love and support!
Bliss & Blessings!
Lisa
Friday, February 22, 2013
Two Steps Forward, One Step Back: Learning to Take Baby Steps!
Hello!
Yet again, I will say that "it's been a while...".
My healing process has been intentionally quiet, filled with introspection and lots of "a-ha moments". There have been weeks when my next 10 blog posts were written in my head, yet I never made it to the computer. Fortunately, I think they are all still there, just waiting to be typed ;).
Often, it's felt like two steps forward, one step back. I'll feel a bit better and get restless, anxious, inspired, all excited - and then I get on a roll, push forward, and BOOM! Big reminder that I went too far, too fast.
This week was a fine example of my body sending me a clear message to S-L-O-W down. After a rather hectic period filled with "catching up" on all the things I wanted to do, plus some emotional upheaval and stress added to the mix, fatigue caught up with me. Sunday morning I woke to the worst vertigo I'd felt in years! Unfortunately, it's continued all week - leaving me stranded in my recliner practically 24/7, trying not to move my head. (Can you say, "So much activity it made my head spin"? Or, "All that thinking threw me into a tailspin"? Ha!)
Sadly, it's a lesson I've had to learn over and over again. You see, I am a "recovering action addict" - often drawn to massive action when I'd be better off slacking a bit, or at least taking it one notch slower. I'm sure there are those among you who know exactly what I mean...But not to worry, recover I shall, to do better next time, when I heed the call to take "baby steps".
Here's the thing though...It's easy to be tempted to jump back in full throttle when you feel like the rest of the world is moving ahead without you, or feel like you need to "catch up" on all the things you haven't been able to accomplish while healing - even though both are illusions! Fact is, you'll never "catch up" or get it "all" done in this lifetime and that's ok - you're not supposed to!! You're not in a race with anyone but your own ego. Everything happens on the timetable it's supposed to - divine timing - and you can't possibly be ahead of it, or behind. And yet I seem to forget this sometimes in my over-enthusiastic excitement to DO.
To be honest (cover your eyes Jeannette Maw!!), I've also caught myself allowing financial fears to creep into my consciousness and they keep me from listening to my body the way I should...well I listen, but I don't always heed what I'm hearing - like take it slow! Fortunately, I know on every level that lack is a big fat lie that doesn't serve me. We live in an abundant Universe, God is my Source, and I am always provided for...I am shifting that vibe for good - I am there, RIGHT NOW - I can feel it!
So...I guess what I'm trying to say is this: I'm not perfect. I'm learning as I go. I don't always get it right, but God/Universe ALWAYS has my back and everything is working out for my best and highest good no matter what that looks like right now. After all, I'm alive and well when just a few short months ago some pretty smart people didn't see that happening for me ;). There's no more convincing proof than that!
I got my miracle! And it was prayer and focus and setting intentions, it was trust and surrender and allowing, it was belief in a loving, benevolent God and Universe - and it was listening - to my own Inner Guidance, following only inspiration, never fear! That's what allowed my miracle to manifest. And that is the same process I am following to manifest miracles in every other aspect of my life...the same formula I am anxious to teach others.
There's no question about it, my journey with cancer has taught me plenty!! It's like a Ph.D. in life...with a requirement for continuing education...because we ALL need reminders sometimes. The key is to listen to the reminders with an open heart and mind when you get them and adjust course as needed. No self-recriminations - only self-love, compassion, and forgiveness.
If you're feeling a nudge to make a course correction, reach out to me. I'd be happy to assist you in any way that I can. I also have a book that I expect to complete soon that goes into greater detail on the process I used to focus my energies on the positive intentions I set back in November - intentions and desires that all came true for me. You'll be the first to know when it's ready!
I'd like to close this post with a great big thank you to all of you! Your support - whether it's reading my blog, commenting, sharing it, or remembering me in your thoughts and prayers - has been a Godsend! Please don't stop now ;). I've received uplifting get well cards and generous gifts that brighten my day beyond words and ease my way to healing! Thank you!!
For my family, even the biggest thank you seems inadequate. My parents and my sister have rallied around me with all forms of support imaginable, for so long now. Love, understanding, comfort, encouragement - and yes, a kick in the you-know-what when I need it! My sister took two weeks away from her work and home and family right before Christmas to take me to Boston and stay with me when I had my surgery...not to mention the COUNTLESS long phone calls when only a sister's ear would do...You're the best and I love you!! My parents have always been there for me - but never in quite so big or so generous a way as this...I am forever grateful. Your unconditional love, support, and understanding is a beautiful reflection of God's love and I pray that same love, plus mine, blesses you ten-fold!
I leave for another short trip to Boston on Monday. I'll be sure to keep you posted on how it goes and what my next step will be once I get back. Thank you!
Bliss & Blessings,
Lisa
Yet again, I will say that "it's been a while...".
My healing process has been intentionally quiet, filled with introspection and lots of "a-ha moments". There have been weeks when my next 10 blog posts were written in my head, yet I never made it to the computer. Fortunately, I think they are all still there, just waiting to be typed ;).
Often, it's felt like two steps forward, one step back. I'll feel a bit better and get restless, anxious, inspired, all excited - and then I get on a roll, push forward, and BOOM! Big reminder that I went too far, too fast.
This week was a fine example of my body sending me a clear message to S-L-O-W down. After a rather hectic period filled with "catching up" on all the things I wanted to do, plus some emotional upheaval and stress added to the mix, fatigue caught up with me. Sunday morning I woke to the worst vertigo I'd felt in years! Unfortunately, it's continued all week - leaving me stranded in my recliner practically 24/7, trying not to move my head. (Can you say, "So much activity it made my head spin"? Or, "All that thinking threw me into a tailspin"? Ha!)
Sadly, it's a lesson I've had to learn over and over again. You see, I am a "recovering action addict" - often drawn to massive action when I'd be better off slacking a bit, or at least taking it one notch slower.
Here's the thing though...It's easy to be tempted to jump back in full throttle when you feel like the rest of the world is moving ahead without you, or feel like you need to "catch up" on all the things you haven't been able to accomplish while healing - even though both are illusions! Fact is, you'll never "catch up" or get it "all" done in this lifetime and that's ok - you're not supposed to!! You're not in a race with anyone but your own ego. Everything happens on the timetable it's supposed to - divine timing - and you can't possibly be ahead of it, or behind. And yet I seem to forget this sometimes in my over-enthusiastic excitement to DO.
To be honest (cover your eyes Jeannette Maw!!), I've also caught myself allowing financial fears to creep into my consciousness and they keep me from listening to my body the way I should...well I listen, but I don't always heed what I'm hearing - like take it slow! Fortunately, I know on every level that lack is a big fat lie that doesn't serve me. We live in an abundant Universe, God is my Source, and I am always provided for...I am shifting that vibe for good - I am there, RIGHT NOW - I can feel it!
So...I guess what I'm trying to say is this: I'm not perfect. I'm learning as I go. I don't always get it right, but God/Universe ALWAYS has my back and everything is working out for my best and highest good no matter what that looks like right now. After all, I'm alive and well when just a few short months ago some pretty smart people didn't see that happening for me ;). There's no more convincing proof than that!
I got my miracle! And it was prayer and focus and setting intentions, it was trust and surrender and allowing, it was belief in a loving, benevolent God and Universe - and it was listening - to my own Inner Guidance, following only inspiration, never fear! That's what allowed my miracle to manifest. And that is the same process I am following to manifest miracles in every other aspect of my life...the same formula I am anxious to teach others.
There's no question about it, my journey with cancer has taught me plenty!! It's like a Ph.D. in life...with a requirement for continuing education...because we ALL need reminders sometimes. The key is to listen to the reminders with an open heart and mind when you get them and adjust course as needed. No self-recriminations - only self-love, compassion, and forgiveness.
If you're feeling a nudge to make a course correction, reach out to me. I'd be happy to assist you in any way that I can. I also have a book that I expect to complete soon that goes into greater detail on the process I used to focus my energies on the positive intentions I set back in November - intentions and desires that all came true for me. You'll be the first to know when it's ready!
I'd like to close this post with a great big thank you to all of you! Your support - whether it's reading my blog, commenting, sharing it, or remembering me in your thoughts and prayers - has been a Godsend! Please don't stop now ;). I've received uplifting get well cards and generous gifts that brighten my day beyond words and ease my way to healing! Thank you!!
For my family, even the biggest thank you seems inadequate. My parents and my sister have rallied around me with all forms of support imaginable, for so long now. Love, understanding, comfort, encouragement - and yes, a kick in the you-know-what when I need it! My sister took two weeks away from her work and home and family right before Christmas to take me to Boston and stay with me when I had my surgery...not to mention the COUNTLESS long phone calls when only a sister's ear would do...You're the best and I love you!! My parents have always been there for me - but never in quite so big or so generous a way as this...I am forever grateful. Your unconditional love, support, and understanding is a beautiful reflection of God's love and I pray that same love, plus mine, blesses you ten-fold!
I leave for another short trip to Boston on Monday. I'll be sure to keep you posted on how it goes and what my next step will be once I get back. Thank you!
Bliss & Blessings,
Lisa
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
A Success Worth Celebrating
Hello my dear friends!!
I realize it has been a long while since my last update. Five weeks in fact!
Much has happened in that time...not the least of which was a very successful surgery in Boston, proving once and for all that miracles DO indeed happen (in case you've ever doubted that). Surgeons removed most of my sternum along with the cancerous mass that had grown into it. Then, they reconstructed my sternum out of Gortex (can you imagine that??!). They also removed two cancerous internal mammary lymph nodes from my chest. The plastic surgeon did his magic, pulling my pectoral muscles over the reconstructed sternum to protect it and to reshape the contours of my mid-chest. A new port-a-cath was also placed - to handle any chemo in my future - before they stitched and glued me back up.
The best news is this: There is no longer any evidence of disease (NED in clinical talk) in my body! Yayyyyy!!!!
My physical recovery is going very smoothly and according to plan. If anything, I am ahead of everyone's predictions. That said, my primary focus will continue to be on healing for the next 6-weeks or so, until I return to Boston for my next visit with the surgeon. Meanwhile, I am gradually regaining full range of motion and the day before yesterday I took my first short drive by myself! Whoo hoo!
I want you to know how very much I appreciate all the love, support, prayers, and positive energy that you have been sending me! If I could somehow write a personal thank you note to each and every one of you, I would. But instead, I'm going to give you all a great big THANK YOU here, together with lots of HUGS and LOVE and then I'm going to continue spending all my energy on healing. I know you'll understand.
And...while I've missed our interaction here (I thought surely I'd be writing long before now!)...I realized there was something more important I needed to do first. I needed to practice what I preach, walk my talk, be my own client. I needed to get back to the basics...Self Love 101.
So, for the past five weeks I have been indulging in all forms of self love...like listening to my body and giving it what it wants and needs; listening to my soul and nourishing my Inner Spirit; setting healthy boundaries; getting aligned with what feels good, and only doing the things I've felt inspired and excited to do. Quite often, that simply meant - a nap ;).
I'm proud of myself for doing it right this time. I'm not rushing the process and I'm doing my very best not to over-think the future. I'm just basking in the now...feeling my body heal (isn't it amazing what our bodies can do?!), appreciating the love that surrounds me, grateful for the opportunity of waking up to a new day. A day I wasn't so sure I'd get just a few months ago.
Which leads me to something else I can't end this blog post without acknowledging. There's no lens more profound or clear, I think, than the eyes of a person facing an earlier goodbye than expected to this physical life and those they love. My first journey through cancer provided a subtle glimpse. This time I had to look long and hard through that lens. I had to find acceptance and peace in the possibilities - all of them. The gift in that? A deep-down, crystal clear knowing of what's most important to me and a new found ease in letting go of all the rest. It's something that immediately became the guiding force in my life - and it will continue to be - whether I am blessed with weeks, months, or years.
I'll write more on that soon, but for now, know this...
Miracles DO happen - and I'm convinced that there are plenty more headed my way. I'm also convinced that there are miracles happening every day, to each of us, that we might just overlook if we're not present enough to notice. Ask. Expect them. Trust. Let go. Quiet yourself. Revel in the beauty that surrounds you - the miracle of nature and that of a new day - full of possibilities and blessings! And know that all is well, no matter what! You are loved, guided and protected and everything is always working out for your best and highest good.
Bliss & Blessings,
Lisa
I realize it has been a long while since my last update. Five weeks in fact!
Much has happened in that time...not the least of which was a very successful surgery in Boston, proving once and for all that miracles DO indeed happen (in case you've ever doubted that). Surgeons removed most of my sternum along with the cancerous mass that had grown into it. Then, they reconstructed my sternum out of Gortex (can you imagine that??!). They also removed two cancerous internal mammary lymph nodes from my chest. The plastic surgeon did his magic, pulling my pectoral muscles over the reconstructed sternum to protect it and to reshape the contours of my mid-chest. A new port-a-cath was also placed - to handle any chemo in my future - before they stitched and glued me back up.
The best news is this: There is no longer any evidence of disease (NED in clinical talk) in my body! Yayyyyy!!!!
My physical recovery is going very smoothly and according to plan. If anything, I am ahead of everyone's predictions. That said, my primary focus will continue to be on healing for the next 6-weeks or so, until I return to Boston for my next visit with the surgeon. Meanwhile, I am gradually regaining full range of motion and the day before yesterday I took my first short drive by myself! Whoo hoo!
I want you to know how very much I appreciate all the love, support, prayers, and positive energy that you have been sending me! If I could somehow write a personal thank you note to each and every one of you, I would. But instead, I'm going to give you all a great big THANK YOU here, together with lots of HUGS and LOVE and then I'm going to continue spending all my energy on healing. I know you'll understand.
And...while I've missed our interaction here (I thought surely I'd be writing long before now!)...I realized there was something more important I needed to do first. I needed to practice what I preach, walk my talk, be my own client. I needed to get back to the basics...Self Love 101.
So, for the past five weeks I have been indulging in all forms of self love...like listening to my body and giving it what it wants and needs; listening to my soul and nourishing my Inner Spirit; setting healthy boundaries; getting aligned with what feels good, and only doing the things I've felt inspired and excited to do. Quite often, that simply meant - a nap ;).
I'm proud of myself for doing it right this time. I'm not rushing the process and I'm doing my very best not to over-think the future. I'm just basking in the now...feeling my body heal (isn't it amazing what our bodies can do?!), appreciating the love that surrounds me, grateful for the opportunity of waking up to a new day. A day I wasn't so sure I'd get just a few months ago.
Which leads me to something else I can't end this blog post without acknowledging. There's no lens more profound or clear, I think, than the eyes of a person facing an earlier goodbye than expected to this physical life and those they love. My first journey through cancer provided a subtle glimpse. This time I had to look long and hard through that lens. I had to find acceptance and peace in the possibilities - all of them. The gift in that? A deep-down, crystal clear knowing of what's most important to me and a new found ease in letting go of all the rest. It's something that immediately became the guiding force in my life - and it will continue to be - whether I am blessed with weeks, months, or years.
I'll write more on that soon, but for now, know this...
Miracles DO happen - and I'm convinced that there are plenty more headed my way. I'm also convinced that there are miracles happening every day, to each of us, that we might just overlook if we're not present enough to notice. Ask. Expect them. Trust. Let go. Quiet yourself. Revel in the beauty that surrounds you - the miracle of nature and that of a new day - full of possibilities and blessings! And know that all is well, no matter what! You are loved, guided and protected and everything is always working out for your best and highest good.
Bliss & Blessings,
Lisa
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
A Look Back at My First Days Post-Surgery
I thought it might be fun to post these here. They are the quick little updates I gave people via text and Facebook in the days following surgery and my first couple of weeks at home. It's funny for me reading them now, since I barely remember writing some of them! It's also hard to believe I was on Facebook (via my iPhone) right up until about an hour before surgery! And that just a few days post-op, I was back on it updating people again. Modern technology ;). Considering all the drugs I was on, thank God I didn't say anything too crazy!!
Dec 13, 2012
All checked in for surgery! Thanks for all the love, prayers & support! Love you!! Xoxo
Dec 16, 2012 - AM
Hello all! This is a quick update from Brigham & Women's hospital. Surgery went very well & after 2 days in ICU, I've been transferred to a "step down" thoracic unit. I'm up walking & tubes are slowly coming out. Pain is being managed & just started eating & drinking again. More soon... Thank you so much for your prayers, love, & support!! Keep it coming...long road ahead but I think the worst is behind me. Xoxoxo
Dec 16, 2012 - PM
Last chest tube just came out! Next will be my epidural & IV – so far they have disconnected me from them (without removing them entirely) so we can try oral narcotics for pain relief. Wow! Feeling untethered! Walked to X-ray w/o walker just now! Five walks today is our goal. They say I'm doing very well ;). Xoxo
Dec 17, 2012
Good morning! The day begins early here, but had a pretty good sleep ;). Walked a total of 1/2 mile yesterday! May have some exciting news soon! Stay tuned! Xoxo
Dec 18, 2012
Yesterday was a long day with many rough spots but I'm officially discharged from the hospital! We're still in Boston until I'm cleared to travel at my post-op appointment Wed AM. Now THAT will be a long day! But making progress!
Dec 13, 2012
All checked in for surgery! Thanks for all the love, prayers & support! Love you!! Xoxo
Dec 16, 2012 - AM
Hello all! This is a quick update from Brigham & Women's hospital. Surgery went very well & after 2 days in ICU, I've been transferred to a "step down" thoracic unit. I'm up walking & tubes are slowly coming out. Pain is being managed & just started eating & drinking again. More soon... Thank you so much for your prayers, love, & support!! Keep it coming...long road ahead but I think the worst is behind me. Xoxoxo
Dec 16, 2012 - PM
Last chest tube just came out! Next will be my epidural & IV – so far they have disconnected me from them (without removing them entirely) so we can try oral narcotics for pain relief. Wow! Feeling untethered! Walked to X-ray w/o walker just now! Five walks today is our goal. They say I'm doing very well ;). Xoxo
Dec 17, 2012
Good morning! The day begins early here, but had a pretty good sleep ;). Walked a total of 1/2 mile yesterday! May have some exciting news soon! Stay tuned! Xoxo
Dec 18, 2012
Yesterday was a long day with many rough spots but I'm officially discharged from the hospital! We're still in Boston until I'm cleared to travel at my post-op appointment Wed AM. Now THAT will be a long day! But making progress!
Dec 19, 2012
Cleared for "takeoff" & on the road home! Can't wait to be home - just wish I could teleport there! Xo
Dec 21, 2012
Thanks so much for all the support & well-wishes! I'm home now - yayyy!!! - honoring my body with rest & love. I'm not really up to visiting yet and not even enough energy to be online much, but will be soon. All is well & I am grateful. Xoxo
Dec 27, 2012
Exactly 2 weeks ago (to the hour!) I was in surgery. I am unspeakably grateful for the gift of healing I have been blessed with...My body still has a long journey back to 100% but I'm well on my way! Give YOUR body a great big hug right now & enjoy a moment of awe & appreciation for the amazing gift that it is ♥. Xoxo
Dec 28, 2012
Excellent clarification on what it is to surrender...something I've learned a lot about over the past year and a half. No surprise it's from Anita Moorjani ;). If you haven't read her book, Dying To Be Me yet, I highly recommend it!!
“Surrender, but don't give your power away. There is a huge difference between "surrendering" and "giving your power away". The first one empowers you, as it means surrendering to what is, no matter where your life is right now, and allowing universal energy to work through you to take you to the next level of your life. Whereas giving your power away allows others to control you, which can deplete and drain you. When you are feeling drained, scared, tired, and don't know which way to turn, start by accepting what is, and then surrendering everything you are feeling to the universe. Empty your heart out to the universe, and then let go and trust.” ♥
Jan 1, 2013
Happy New Year everyone!! Still recuperating quietly here with much gratitude for ALL of 2012's blessings & challenges. Whew...what a year! No wonder I'm so tired! Hehe ;). Goodnight!
Jan 5, 2013
Felt a little better today, got overly ambitious and completely overdid it. Time to apologize to my body, (give my daughter back her Chromebook!), take my pain meds, and rest, rest, rest! Bye for now...♥
Cleared for "takeoff" & on the road home! Can't wait to be home - just wish I could teleport there! Xo
Dec 21, 2012
Thanks so much for all the support & well-wishes! I'm home now - yayyy!!! - honoring my body with rest & love. I'm not really up to visiting yet and not even enough energy to be online much, but will be soon. All is well & I am grateful. Xoxo
Dec 27, 2012
Exactly 2 weeks ago (to the hour!) I was in surgery. I am unspeakably grateful for the gift of healing I have been blessed with...My body still has a long journey back to 100% but I'm well on my way! Give YOUR body a great big hug right now & enjoy a moment of awe & appreciation for the amazing gift that it is ♥. Xoxo
Dec 28, 2012
Excellent clarification on what it is to surrender...something I've learned a lot about over the past year and a half. No surprise it's from Anita Moorjani ;). If you haven't read her book, Dying To Be Me yet, I highly recommend it!!
“Surrender, but don't give your power away. There is a huge difference between "surrendering" and "giving your power away". The first one empowers you, as it means surrendering to what is, no matter where your life is right now, and allowing universal energy to work through you to take you to the next level of your life. Whereas giving your power away allows others to control you, which can deplete and drain you. When you are feeling drained, scared, tired, and don't know which way to turn, start by accepting what is, and then surrendering everything you are feeling to the universe. Empty your heart out to the universe, and then let go and trust.” ♥
Jan 1, 2013
Happy New Year everyone!! Still recuperating quietly here with much gratitude for ALL of 2012's blessings & challenges. Whew...what a year! No wonder I'm so tired! Hehe ;). Goodnight!
Jan 5, 2013
Felt a little better today, got overly ambitious and completely overdid it. Time to apologize to my body, (give my daughter back her Chromebook!), take my pain meds, and rest, rest, rest! Bye for now...♥
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Another Long Day...
Hello from Boston! Today was another very long day...I've been poked, prodded, and tested from morning till night. Had my pre-op consults with two of the three surgeons and all my labs & scans. Fasting from all but water today for PET/CT was a little rough, but rougher still was fasting from my beloved Ibuprofen! Pain ramped up all day, until it became unbearable tonight. I'm a couple of hours into a big fat Percocet now though, so it's manageable.
Tomorrow morning I'll get the results of the PET scan - and assuming all goes as expected - get the final thumbs up for surgery Thursday at 2:30 pm. Then we're off to lunch with my cousin Cheryl (assuming this pain stays in the manageable range) and back for an early, light dinner and good night's sleep.
My fasting - no food, no water - begins at midnight Wednesday night, so it'll be a long time until I see food and drink again! First 24-36 hours or so (depending on how I do) will be spent in the Thoracic ICU. I'll have the full compliment of tubes and wires during that time and will likely be out of it for the most part. Not a bad thing at all - I'd rather sleep through the worst of it ;). When they move me to a regular room, I'll just have an IV (no other tubes) and they will transition me to oral narcotics to get me up and moving about.
The surgery will take about 4 hours, so don't worry if you don't see an update until late Thursday night.
My surgeons are very confident - and I have complete confidence in them. They'll remove as much of my sternum as needed to get clear margins - all of it if necessary. If they remove most or all of it, the plastic surgeon may need to take tissue from my abdomen to cover the reconstructed sternum. If resection can be kept to a minimum, they will use to pectoral muscle instead (a favorable approach - so please visualize that for me!). There's also a lymph node under my collarbone and one under my 2nd and 3rd rib that need to be removed.
I'm as ready as I'm going to be...although pain may initially be worse after surgery, at least I'll know that I'm on the road to improvement once the surgery is done. They assure me that my pain will be well managed.
So...all is well! Thank you so much for the tremendous support I feel from all of you!! Keep the prayers, positive energy, and good vibes coming! Especially Thursday from 2:30 - 6;30 (and beyond!). I've been using my Prepare for Surgery hypnotherapy recording several times a day and will have the anesthesiologists read my healing statements during surgery. I will also be getting Reiki treatments while here!
I'll do my best to update you again tomorrow night - one last time before surgery. After that, my sister Gina will be posting to this blog with updates, until I'm well enough to do it myself again.
Until then...
Bliss & Blessings,
Lisa
Tomorrow morning I'll get the results of the PET scan - and assuming all goes as expected - get the final thumbs up for surgery Thursday at 2:30 pm. Then we're off to lunch with my cousin Cheryl (assuming this pain stays in the manageable range) and back for an early, light dinner and good night's sleep.
My fasting - no food, no water - begins at midnight Wednesday night, so it'll be a long time until I see food and drink again! First 24-36 hours or so (depending on how I do) will be spent in the Thoracic ICU. I'll have the full compliment of tubes and wires during that time and will likely be out of it for the most part. Not a bad thing at all - I'd rather sleep through the worst of it ;). When they move me to a regular room, I'll just have an IV (no other tubes) and they will transition me to oral narcotics to get me up and moving about.
The surgery will take about 4 hours, so don't worry if you don't see an update until late Thursday night.
My surgeons are very confident - and I have complete confidence in them. They'll remove as much of my sternum as needed to get clear margins - all of it if necessary. If they remove most or all of it, the plastic surgeon may need to take tissue from my abdomen to cover the reconstructed sternum. If resection can be kept to a minimum, they will use to pectoral muscle instead (a favorable approach - so please visualize that for me!). There's also a lymph node under my collarbone and one under my 2nd and 3rd rib that need to be removed.
I'm as ready as I'm going to be...although pain may initially be worse after surgery, at least I'll know that I'm on the road to improvement once the surgery is done. They assure me that my pain will be well managed.
So...all is well! Thank you so much for the tremendous support I feel from all of you!! Keep the prayers, positive energy, and good vibes coming! Especially Thursday from 2:30 - 6;30 (and beyond!). I've been using my Prepare for Surgery hypnotherapy recording several times a day and will have the anesthesiologists read my healing statements during surgery. I will also be getting Reiki treatments while here!
I'll do my best to update you again tomorrow night - one last time before surgery. After that, my sister Gina will be posting to this blog with updates, until I'm well enough to do it myself again.
Until then...
Bliss & Blessings,
Lisa
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Ready, Set, Go!!
Dear ones…sorry it’s been so long since my last update. I can only say that it has been a month of twists, and turns, travels and surprises. But, I have also felt truly guided and blessed!!
When last I wrote, I’d met a brilliant thoracic surgeon, Dr. David Sugarbaker in Boston at Brigham & Women’s Hospital. The next day I was scheduled to meet with a medical oncologist at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. While the meeting with the surgeon went extremely well and left me feeling very optimistic, the meeting with the oncologist did not go quite as well (ok – major understatement!!). Not her fault really – the news just wasn’t so good. I came home a bit of a basket case – in pain physically and emotionally, overwhelmed, confused and needing time to regroup.
After a few days, I finally began to find my balance again - with the help of my fabulous coaches and dear friends - Jeannette Maw and Lisa Hayes, and a new friend Dr. Neil Spector at Duke University, as well as all my family and friends near and far. I still wasn’t feeling optimistic (that felt like too much of a reach right then), but I was on my way to finding some peace and I knew the next step was agreeing to visit Duke University Medical Center for a second opinion.
While the oncologist in Boston offered me little hope, the doctors at Duke were full of hope and support. I connected immediately with their positive attitude and philosophy and knew intuitively this was the place for me. So, immediately following the Thanksgiving holiday, I flew to North Carolina.
Wednesday, Nov 28th was a full day at Duke University’s Cancer Center and I’ll tell you what – I’d be very surprised if there’s a medical center anywhere else in the country that treats you as well as they do! Talk about Southern hospitality!! Not only are the doctors brilliant, but they treat you as if you’re a cherished family member. Everyone seems to begin and end their conversation by asking if they can get you anything – something to eat, to drink, can they make you more comfortable in any way. The facility itself is stunning. Lots of light and sunshine, beautiful grounds, amenities as if it was a fine hotel! Their system is not only efficient, but considerate. You get a pager when you arrive – that way you can make yourself comfortable anywhere in the building – the café, food court, fireplace lounge area, quiet room – and they’ll page you when they are ready for you. Not that you wait very long. And once you’re in an exam room, if you’re like me with lots of appointments with doctors from different departments and disciplines, you stay put and the doctors come to you!! How’s that for a concept?! Every medical center should be run this way!
Anyway – I digress ;). The consults at Duke went very, very well. I listened closely to what each specialist had to say and today I can tell you that I have a plan I feel very comfortable, confident and optimistic about.
My next step will be surgery, in Boston, on Thursday December 13th. It’s a major surgery – probably about as major as they come. I won’t go into details here, except to say that I have the utmost confidence in my surgeons and fully expect that I will emerge from the surgery with no evidence of disease. Recovery will be lengthy and I’ll get the opportunity to practice lots of different pain management techniques… ;). I’m intending to be recuperating at home with my family & friends around me by Christmas.
Another friend at Duke, Denise Paradis, connected me with a doctor who is making me a custom pre-surgery hypnosis CD! I’ll listen to it as often as possible before surgery affirming the outcomes I desire and releasing any fears and anxieties I may have…then, during surgery, the anesthesiologists will actually read aloud the “healing statements” I give them. This has been shown in some studies to reduce the need for pain meds up to 50% and to speed healing as well. Very cool!!
All in all, I guess I’m ready to go. The sooner we get started, the sooner I get to the other side of this. My sister will with me through the whole process in Boston and I’m betting I’ll also see a lot of my other cousin, Cheryl, who lives just outside of Boston. I seem to have cousins in all the right places these days ;).
Oh, and it turns out another friend of ours has a sister-in-law who works at Brigham & Women’s as a pre-op nurse! How does it get any better than this?! I seem to be attracting new friends and old at every turn on this journey - each of them bringing their own unique blessings.
After surgery, and my recovery, we’ll regroup based on where things stand. I’ll still need more treatment - radiation and chemo (though not necessarily in that order). My radiation treatments will be done here – same as last time. Chemo may or may not be here…depending on the chemical cocktail they recommend for me at Duke. Dr. Kim Blackwell is brilliant and thoroughly amazing, as is Dr. Neil Spector, and their entire team! I trust them completely.
So…please, visualize only the most positive outcomes for me next Monday between 3pm – 6pm as I have my pre-op PET/CT scan in Boston. There needs to be little if any growth in the cancer in my chest and no cancer showing up anywhere else, if the surgery is to go forward. Of course, I realized today that perhaps I should be going for the gold here – let’s visualize a complete cure! How about the PET/CT astonishingly shows no cancer at all!! Doctors and researchers are amazed – no one can explain it – it’s a miracle!! I’m thinking it’s really just as easy for God to orchestrate that, as it is anything else, so why not?!
And, assuming surgery goes forward as planned (they won’t need to do it if the cancer all disappears, right?!)…please blanket me in the pink light of love, send prayers of healing, Reiki energy, or whatever special blessings you favor, to me on Thursday, Dec 13th. I won’t know the exact time of my surgery until the night before, but when I have it I will be sure to post it here.
Thank you!! There is so much more I want to say about this experience over the past few weeks, but I’m going to have to save it for another post. My energy lags these days and I’m listening to my body better than ever before. It needs love and it needs me to give it what it needs…and so I am ;).
Speaking of which…if you call me and don’t reach me, or if I don’t get back to you, please know that I love knowing that you’re thinking of me and hearing your voice and message, but my time and energy is very short right now. Don’t let it discourage you from calling or writing – I love hearing from you! I just may not be able to get back to you for a while.
I love you all very much and I can’t wait to share with you all that I’m learning on this latest life journey!!
Blessings & Bliss,
Lisa
When last I wrote, I’d met a brilliant thoracic surgeon, Dr. David Sugarbaker in Boston at Brigham & Women’s Hospital. The next day I was scheduled to meet with a medical oncologist at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. While the meeting with the surgeon went extremely well and left me feeling very optimistic, the meeting with the oncologist did not go quite as well (ok – major understatement!!). Not her fault really – the news just wasn’t so good. I came home a bit of a basket case – in pain physically and emotionally, overwhelmed, confused and needing time to regroup.
After a few days, I finally began to find my balance again - with the help of my fabulous coaches and dear friends - Jeannette Maw and Lisa Hayes, and a new friend Dr. Neil Spector at Duke University, as well as all my family and friends near and far. I still wasn’t feeling optimistic (that felt like too much of a reach right then), but I was on my way to finding some peace and I knew the next step was agreeing to visit Duke University Medical Center for a second opinion.
While the oncologist in Boston offered me little hope, the doctors at Duke were full of hope and support. I connected immediately with their positive attitude and philosophy and knew intuitively this was the place for me. So, immediately following the Thanksgiving holiday, I flew to North Carolina.
By this point, my surgery was already scheduled in Boston for December 13 – weeks beyond what I would have liked, but apparently the best they could do – so I certainly had the time. My cousin Marci lives in Chapel Hill and she was the one who urged me to come to Duke. She introduced me to Neil Spector – her friend, neighbor and the Associate Director of Clinical Research of the Duke Cancer Institute and Director of the Duke Translational Research in Oncology (DTRO) Program. While Neil set me up with the best of the best at Duke, Marci made me comfortable in her lovely home, took time from her busy job to spend with me, and pampered me silly!!
Wednesday, Nov 28th was a full day at Duke University’s Cancer Center and I’ll tell you what – I’d be very surprised if there’s a medical center anywhere else in the country that treats you as well as they do! Talk about Southern hospitality!! Not only are the doctors brilliant, but they treat you as if you’re a cherished family member. Everyone seems to begin and end their conversation by asking if they can get you anything – something to eat, to drink, can they make you more comfortable in any way. The facility itself is stunning. Lots of light and sunshine, beautiful grounds, amenities as if it was a fine hotel! Their system is not only efficient, but considerate. You get a pager when you arrive – that way you can make yourself comfortable anywhere in the building – the café, food court, fireplace lounge area, quiet room – and they’ll page you when they are ready for you. Not that you wait very long. And once you’re in an exam room, if you’re like me with lots of appointments with doctors from different departments and disciplines, you stay put and the doctors come to you!! How’s that for a concept?! Every medical center should be run this way!
Anyway – I digress ;). The consults at Duke went very, very well. I listened closely to what each specialist had to say and today I can tell you that I have a plan I feel very comfortable, confident and optimistic about.
My next step will be surgery, in Boston, on Thursday December 13th. It’s a major surgery – probably about as major as they come. I won’t go into details here, except to say that I have the utmost confidence in my surgeons and fully expect that I will emerge from the surgery with no evidence of disease. Recovery will be lengthy and I’ll get the opportunity to practice lots of different pain management techniques… ;). I’m intending to be recuperating at home with my family & friends around me by Christmas.
Another friend at Duke, Denise Paradis, connected me with a doctor who is making me a custom pre-surgery hypnosis CD! I’ll listen to it as often as possible before surgery affirming the outcomes I desire and releasing any fears and anxieties I may have…then, during surgery, the anesthesiologists will actually read aloud the “healing statements” I give them. This has been shown in some studies to reduce the need for pain meds up to 50% and to speed healing as well. Very cool!!
All in all, I guess I’m ready to go. The sooner we get started, the sooner I get to the other side of this. My sister will with me through the whole process in Boston and I’m betting I’ll also see a lot of my other cousin, Cheryl, who lives just outside of Boston. I seem to have cousins in all the right places these days ;).
Oh, and it turns out another friend of ours has a sister-in-law who works at Brigham & Women’s as a pre-op nurse! How does it get any better than this?! I seem to be attracting new friends and old at every turn on this journey - each of them bringing their own unique blessings.
After surgery, and my recovery, we’ll regroup based on where things stand. I’ll still need more treatment - radiation and chemo (though not necessarily in that order). My radiation treatments will be done here – same as last time. Chemo may or may not be here…depending on the chemical cocktail they recommend for me at Duke. Dr. Kim Blackwell is brilliant and thoroughly amazing, as is Dr. Neil Spector, and their entire team! I trust them completely.
So…please, visualize only the most positive outcomes for me next Monday between 3pm – 6pm as I have my pre-op PET/CT scan in Boston. There needs to be little if any growth in the cancer in my chest and no cancer showing up anywhere else, if the surgery is to go forward. Of course, I realized today that perhaps I should be going for the gold here – let’s visualize a complete cure! How about the PET/CT astonishingly shows no cancer at all!! Doctors and researchers are amazed – no one can explain it – it’s a miracle!! I’m thinking it’s really just as easy for God to orchestrate that, as it is anything else, so why not?!
And, assuming surgery goes forward as planned (they won’t need to do it if the cancer all disappears, right?!)…please blanket me in the pink light of love, send prayers of healing, Reiki energy, or whatever special blessings you favor, to me on Thursday, Dec 13th. I won’t know the exact time of my surgery until the night before, but when I have it I will be sure to post it here.
Thank you!! There is so much more I want to say about this experience over the past few weeks, but I’m going to have to save it for another post. My energy lags these days and I’m listening to my body better than ever before. It needs love and it needs me to give it what it needs…and so I am ;).
Speaking of which…if you call me and don’t reach me, or if I don’t get back to you, please know that I love knowing that you’re thinking of me and hearing your voice and message, but my time and energy is very short right now. Don’t let it discourage you from calling or writing – I love hearing from you! I just may not be able to get back to you for a while.
I love you all very much and I can’t wait to share with you all that I’m learning on this latest life journey!!
Blessings & Bliss,
Lisa
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