Yet again, I will say that "it's been a while...".
My healing process has been intentionally quiet, filled with introspection and lots of "a-ha moments". There have been weeks when my next 10 blog posts were written in my head, yet I never made it to the computer. Fortunately, I think they are all still there, just waiting to be typed ;).
Often, it's felt like two steps forward, one step back. I'll feel a bit better and get restless, anxious, inspired, all excited - and then I get on a roll, push forward, and BOOM! Big reminder that I went too far, too fast.
This week was a fine example of my body sending me a clear message to S-L-O-W down. After a rather hectic period filled with "catching up" on all the things I wanted to do, plus some emotional upheaval and stress added to the mix, fatigue caught up with me. Sunday morning I woke to the worst vertigo I'd felt in years! Unfortunately, it's continued all week - leaving me stranded in my recliner practically 24/7, trying not to move my head. (Can you say, "So much activity it made my head spin"? Or, "All that thinking threw me into a tailspin"? Ha!)
Sadly, it's a lesson I've had to learn over and over again. You see, I am a "recovering action addict" - often drawn to massive action when I'd be better off slacking a bit, or at least taking it one notch slower.
Here's the thing though...It's easy to be tempted to jump back in full throttle when you feel like the rest of the world is moving ahead without you, or feel like you need to "catch up" on all the things you haven't been able to accomplish while healing - even though both are illusions! Fact is, you'll never "catch up" or get it "all" done in this lifetime and that's ok - you're not supposed to!! You're not in a race with anyone but your own ego. Everything happens on the timetable it's supposed to - divine timing - and you can't possibly be ahead of it, or behind. And yet I seem to forget this sometimes in my over-enthusiastic excitement to DO.
To be honest (cover your eyes Jeannette Maw!!), I've also caught myself allowing financial fears to creep into my consciousness and they keep me from listening to my body the way I should...well I listen, but I don't always heed what I'm hearing - like take it slow! Fortunately, I know on every level that lack is a big fat lie that doesn't serve me. We live in an abundant Universe, God is my Source, and I am always provided for...I am shifting that vibe for good - I am there, RIGHT NOW - I can feel it!
So...I guess what I'm trying to say is this: I'm not perfect. I'm learning as I go. I don't always get it right, but God/Universe ALWAYS has my back and everything is working out for my best and highest good no matter what that looks like right now. After all, I'm alive and well when just a few short months ago some pretty smart people didn't see that happening for me ;). There's no more convincing proof than that!
I got my miracle! And it was prayer and focus and setting intentions, it was trust and surrender and allowing, it was belief in a loving, benevolent God and Universe - and it was listening - to my own Inner Guidance, following only inspiration, never fear! That's what allowed my miracle to manifest. And that is the same process I am following to manifest miracles in every other aspect of my life...the same formula I am anxious to teach others.
There's no question about it, my journey with cancer has taught me plenty!! It's like a Ph.D. in life...with a requirement for continuing education...because we ALL need reminders sometimes. The key is to listen to the reminders with an open heart and mind when you get them and adjust course as needed. No self-recriminations - only self-love, compassion, and forgiveness.
If you're feeling a nudge to make a course correction, reach out to me. I'd be happy to assist you in any way that I can. I also have a book that I expect to complete soon that goes into greater detail on the process I used to focus my energies on the positive intentions I set back in November - intentions and desires that all came true for me. You'll be the first to know when it's ready!
I'd like to close this post with a great big thank you to all of you! Your support - whether it's reading my blog, commenting, sharing it, or remembering me in your thoughts and prayers - has been a Godsend! Please don't stop now ;). I've received uplifting get well cards and generous gifts that brighten my day beyond words and ease my way to healing! Thank you!!
For my family, even the biggest thank you seems inadequate. My parents and my sister have rallied around me with all forms of support imaginable, for so long now. Love, understanding, comfort, encouragement - and yes, a kick in the you-know-what when I need it! My sister took two weeks away from her work and home and family right before Christmas to take me to Boston and stay with me when I had my surgery...not to mention the COUNTLESS long phone calls when only a sister's ear would do...You're the best and I love you!! My parents have always been there for me - but never in quite so big or so generous a way as this...I am forever grateful. Your unconditional love, support, and understanding is a beautiful reflection of God's love and I pray that same love, plus mine, blesses you ten-fold!
I leave for another short trip to Boston on Monday. I'll be sure to keep you posted on how it goes and what my next step will be once I get back. Thank you!
Bliss & Blessings,
Lisa
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Way to go, Lisa.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jackie!! These lessons along the way are priceless. My hope and intention is that they benefit others in the sharing of them.
DeleteI hope ALL of us are learning as we go, my friend. You set a fine example of that. "Big fat lies" and all! lol
ReplyDeleteHehe ;)...thank you! I know that I am not alone in my raw truths - and not everyone needs to admit to their stumbles so publicly - but for me it is both cathartic and fulfilling when I realize that in reading about my journey, others might feel less alone on the road - wherever their particular path is taking them.
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