Triple Negative Breast Cancer - Take Two

Should you ever doubt how quickly your life can change, consider this…Just one short month ago, I was celebrating the fact that I was cancer free; a survivor. Since then I have had countless blood tests, X-rays, CT Scans, nuclear bone scans, PET/CT Scans, a biopsy, and numerous physician consults…all of which delivered the one message no cancer survivor wants to hear – its back.

It began with chest pain in August. I thought it might be inflammation from the connective tissue healing in my rib cage and along my breast bone – a possible side effect of radiation called costochondritis. We tried ibuprofen and even prednisone, but it got worse instead of better. So, my doctor (who is absolutely brilliant & fabulous) decided further investigation was needed.

We discovered that the internal mammary lymph nodes just below my collarbone and along my breast bone were inflamed with cancer and that a large “c” shaped (how’s that for irony?!) cancerous lesion had destroyed part of my breast bone. The pathologist determined that the cancer cells are the same type they found in my breast – and since my breast drains into those lymph nodes, it seems reasonable to assume that’s where they originated. One of those nodes was resting against the breast bone and spread the disease there.

I guess this is one of those cases where you might say, “Better the devil you know, than the devil you don’t”…At least it’s not lymphoma, or bone cancer, or something else. Instead it’s just that damn triple negative breast cancer back again to torment me. I really, truly thought I was done. Ha. When you’re triple negative, you’re never really done.

The day may come (and it probably will) when I can look at this and tell you how there was a beautiful lesson, or a blessing that occurred because of this turn of events, but today is not that day. I don’t discount that possibility – but today is not that day. And I’m giving myself that.

It’s also the reason I’m writing this blog post now and not several weeks ago. I needed time to digest all that was happening. I needed quiet to center myself and I needed a peaceful space as I waded through it all. And, I needed to have more information. So this is about as up-to-date as it gets thus far…though information is changing constantly.

It’s important to note that my treatment options are still being discussed and considered. I have an excellent team of doctors treating me here, most notably, my radiation oncologist who has been front and center with all this – Dr. Michael Fallon (I’m a HUGE fan, can you tell??!) and Dr. Joseph Readling, my cancer-fighting hero and medical oncologist – together, I call them my “dream team” ;).

Dr. Fallon has also been consulting with his colleagues and I’ll be planning a few road trips soon. The first will be to Brigham & Women’s in Boston - one the top 10 hospitals in the country. The Dana Farber/BW Women’s Cancer Center there is ranked number 5 in the nation. BWH is the teaching arm of Harvard Medical School.

Possible additional consults, if needed, include Sloan-Kettering (avoiding that right now due to all the storm damage & chaos), and Johns Hopkins…though I’m feeling like I may have this resolved after my visit to Boston.

Meanwhile, I’m being set up for more radiation here – something that takes time on the “back end” where medical physicists do AMAZING work with numbers and formulas ;). If I decide to opt out of surgery, radiation can begin immediately.

Suffice to say, I feel very well taken care of right now. And, I have an absolutely amazing network of support – including all of you!! So here’s what I need you to do for now…focus on visualizing us laughing and having fun together – I’m healthy, vibrant, and blissfully content! If you pray for me – pray prayers of thanksgiving for all the blessings I have been given and kindly ask that those blessing continue in abundance. Ask the Angels to surround me at all times - protecting me from everything but pure divine love.

Your notes of support, uplifting comments, check-ins…all mean so much to me…so keep ‘em coming! And I promise to keep you posted on any news this side of things. Just like last time around, this blog helps me to keep everyone who cares up-to-date, all at once – which helps me to continue to have a life outside of “cancer talk”. Very important in keeping my focus, my energy, and my emotions balanced.

Last, but not least, one final thought…

I opened this post talking about how quickly life can change - and while I’ve had plenty of examples of that in the last five years or so, I’m choosing to remember this:

Life DOES turn on a dime. Twists, turns, and surprises await us every day and sometimes it seems, around every corner. But that’s precisely when the most unexpected, mind-blowingly positive miracles can occur! Sometimes those twists and turns lead us to exactly the place we most want to be!

If life can change overnight – surely it can do so in either direction – for better or for worse. And I believe that we get to choose… so I’m choosing to welcome in some blissful changes! I’m choosing change for the better – whatever the path I need to follow to get me there.

And, I have to say…this is one crazy twisty-turny path Universe plotted out for me! I sure am curious to see where all this is going and how it is that I’ll get there! Meanwhile, I am open and ready to receive all the blessings that come my way – from expected and unexpected sources – with open arms, no resistance, and with much appreciation and gratitude ;).

All is well, no matter what. No conditions. No bargaining.

Bliss & Blessings,

Lisa