It's Not Over Till It's Over...

I've been learning a lot lately...and I must say that the lessons are coming so quickly and profoundly at times that I'm not quite sure yet how to articulate them all. So, bear with me - this will likely be a lengthy read!

One of the things that's become obvious though, is that my journey is not yet complete. But then, is it ever? For any of us? Life is but a journey sounds trite. Life is a series of many journeys seems truer to me. Sometimes they have distinct beginnings and endings. Sometimes they sort of merge into each other. Hopefully we take some greater understanding from each.

About a month ago (when I first started to write this blog post - ha!) I felt like I was at a sort of uncomfortable point in my journey - not quite the end, not quite the merging point...frankly I wasn't sure WHERE I was...I was feeling sort of lost and frustrated.

My body hasn't yet completely healed from the cancer treatments. I'm profoundly fatigued and find I have to rest a lot more than I'm used to...It's not the kind of fatigue that you can resolve with a weekend of solid sleep, but more like relentless fatigue that keeps coming back no matter how much you rest. Silly things tire me out. I need at least one nap most days, sometimes two. It frustrates me because there's so much I want to do, but I can't do it all - at least not on the timetable I intend...but I'm making peace with that for now. I know it takes time.

There's still some nerve damage in my fingers and toes (neuropathy) and that's caused some unexpected problems with my feet. I have neuromas (benign nerve tumors) in both feet, which had to be treated with two injections in each foot. If they haven't shrunk down considerably in three months, we'll have to do that again. (YUK!!)

My digestive disorder (Gastroparesis) was exacerbated by the chemo and I'm trying to find some new ways of managing that...a severely restrictive FODMAP elimination diet is the cure du jour...we'll see how that works out! So far it seems to be helping - at least when I stick to it! Ha.

And then there's the rekindling of my professional life...after many months of not really being able to work, I'm putting the pieces back together and sorting out what still fits and what does not. Rebuilding my business practically from scratch will take time - and I want to make sure I do it in a way that will serve me best.As a single, self-employed mom though, I was feeling the pressure to move quickly and begin generating some income again. THAT was leading to all kinds of kinky vibes!

Fortunately for me, I have the most awesome and inspiring supportive network of friends and colleagues a girl could ask for! I reached out for some advice from my GVU clan and in an instant I was back on track - remembering how this works...I CHOOSE! I choose my reality, I choose how this goes, I choose what I want. I focus on THAT desire - not the rest of it. Once I "place my order", I LET GO...and trust that it all unfolds perfectly. I don't need to effort endlessly. EASE. GRACE. TRUST.

I didn't have to reach back very far to get some of my own incredible examples either...During chemo for instance, I was too tired and too sick to play my control freak games with life. I trusted, I let go, and it all worked out. Funny how quickly and how easily we can forget BIG life lessons!

But I still wondered why I felt so lost. My very wise friend Kim Falconer explained it this way...she said (in a much more eloquent way than I can!) that I'm at the most heroic point in my hero's journey. I'm in the forest, surrounded by trees, there is no path. I have to let go of feeling like there needs to be a path, and trust that one will emerge when the time is right, and when it does, it will be more magnificent than anything I could have conceived of before...

Hmm...More letting go. This letting go thing may be the toughest life lesson I've ever learned! But, I suspect, it's also the most valuable. It just keeps coming back...so I keep letting go ;).

Now, as I mentioned, all that was about a month ago. Flash forward to present and I've made some progress. I got back to my basics of self-care, being gentle with myself, practicing my own Art of Deliberate Sensuality - the same kind of trust and appreciation and gentle contemplation that got me through chemo.

I also felt drawn back to a daily practice of meditation with the Angels. I found that once I started, I began to realize how much I'd missed that time in my day. My Angels were VERY present with me through my journey with cancer (Oh, the stories I could share!!) - and my relationship with them grew much deeper and stronger as a result. But, as I "got back to business", so to speak, I'd spent less and less focused time with them. I never failed to reach out for a few minutes at the beginning and end of my day, but that was about it.

Then, a couple of weeks ago, a very dear new friend expressed an interest in learning more about the Angels. There was something about that simple request that triggered MAJOR inspiration in me...I decided to offer complimentary Angelic Assistance Intuitive Guidance via email, free of charge to a small group of people, just to see how it "felt" to me - and to them. The results were astounding!!

My days began to fill with a deeper sense of peace and contentment again. The more time I spent with the Angels, asking them for guidance on behalf of others, the more peace I felt. Then, as the responses began coming in from the people I did the readings for, my heart swelled with joy and my confidence grew. The guidance was incredibly accurate, they told me, right on the mark - bringing them peace, joy, blessings, reassurance...and a desire to connect more deeply themselves. I was assisting the Angels and they were assisting me! How does it get any better than that??! I felt the desire to spend more and more time in communication with the Angels.

Interestingly, this was something I had the desire to do YEARS ago, but I dismissed it. What would people think? What if I fail to bring through clear guidance or get it all wrong? Who will be interested? Hmmm...I know better now and I know this is something I'm meant to do. Besides, I can't get it wrong. I'm working with Angels!

Cancer has made me braver, stronger, more resilient than I ever was before. Cancer has taught me that there is only NOW and we need to make it count. All those letting go lessons? Well, I'm letting go...of fear (bah-bye!), and worry over what others think (see ya!)...just for starters! I'm embracing a life that will nurture and heal my body and I'm trusting that it will all work out.

And, now here's my shameless plug...visit my new site www.AuthenticallyLisa.com where you can get a glimpse of all things authentically Lisa. I currently have three very different businesses, each with services that it is truly my pleasure to provide. The Write Strategy with writing and public relations consulting services; Deliberate Sensuality - my coaching practice to assist you in savoring life more fully moment by moment through mindfulness and connecting with your physical senses; and finally Angelic Assistance - where I will provide Angelic Guidance to those who request it near or far, via email as well as Intuitive Coaching services with the guidance of the Angels. I have a Lisa's Leap page there for this blog too! And I'm feeling out whether there's an interest among those currently undergoing cancer treatments, or individuals still recovering, for compassionate coaching services to assist them in riding out the journey in an intentional and positive way.

Soon, I'll be adding a few books (which I am currently working on...) and other products!

Even if you are not in need of any of my services, I hope that you will check out my new website, let me know what you think, and recommend me to others who may be interested. I am also happy to provide gift certificates for anything you find at Authentically Lisa. If you'd like more information on any of my services, please let me know - I'd be happy to chat with you about it!

So...here's daring something worthy and savoring every delicious moment this adventure in time & space has to offer us!

Cheers,
Lisa